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Saturday, July 18, 2009

Weeks 24, 25, 26 & 27

These are notes I have been taking over the last 3.5 weeks, feel free to not read this :)


I wasn't going to keep posting progress notes, but I might find it interesting later on...and you don't have to read it anyhow. I know it's boring. This week has also been slow. And I am so sick of this. I am having dreams where I am running on the beach, and I had another dream last night where I was hiking, and I was so strong I was carrying other people down on my shoulders. *sigh*

I tried riding bike last week, and that was good. Except our tire pump broke, so can't ride again until we get a new one. I also tried to walk down to the beach. I didn't get very far, like, not even to the beach. I really am hating this. I'm so tired all the time, I can't get enough done to keep ahead of the game, and I just get so down on myself. I can easily sleep for 12 hours a day, and have a nap somewhere in the middle.

Knee to wall was still the same. 3cm, if I can even get that. But it has been more consistent. Last week's physio was really good. They tried a few other techniques, which did work really well. It's amazing. I was having a really sore and stiff day, barely getting the knee-to-wall, but they put a small wedge under my heel near the arch of my foot, and suddenly I could do an easy 2cm knee-to-wall with no pain. I was walking better and faster, and it felt great! They then taped me up using sports tape, and I am told to keep it on for as long as I can. It feels great. The pain has shifted, and is more acute, but I feel stronger and more stable, and I am walking almost without a limp. I love physio. The ski boot has been downgraded!

But, all in all, I just want to get off these nerve drugs, and see some dr's at the pain clinic and get back to NORMAL. Normal would be so nice. I haven't touched the ocean in 24 weeks. I haven't done a whole lot of anything in 24 weeks.

I touched the ocean! Week 25 has been quite good! I even cried. It felt absolutely amazing to walk on sand again! I didn't realize it, but I was kind of holding the ocean as a goal, as a goal that means I am almost better, since walking down to the ocean on my beach is no small feat for someone with a broken ankle. It's deep and steep sand that you have to walk over to get to the water. I was so happy. I am so happy. It's still a long road, but I am feeling up to the challenge again.

I had a day of a lot of walking, and it was pretty difficult. I was very sore, and tense. I kept waking up with cramps in my foot that night. It's brutal. I find it hard to do my exercises because my foots twists and cramps up very easily. I've had to rope hubby into some foot massages, which seem to help a lot. I tend to tense up while I walk, since my foot gets quite sore while I walk. As you put all your body weight onto your foot, it spreads out, and I find that quite painful still. Pretty much all my waking hours feel like I have just moved from an uncomfortable position, and need to stretch.

Physio was great this week, and not quite so intensive. But now we're getting somewhere. I don't know what triggered the sudden improvements either. I might be leaving that plateau now. I am now able to do everything more or less normally too. I got 5cm away from the wall in my knee-to-wall exercises too, which was so great!


SIX MONTHS. I can't believe it's been 6 months to the day (minus about 3.5 hours). What an ordeal. I never expected this. The night I fell, I thought, "crap, but whatever, I will home tonight, and have a cast for 6 weeks. It's going to suck, but it'll be over shortly". Ha. Actually it's not funny at all. Anyhow, the worst is over, I hope!

I had another good week! And Physio was informative for me too. I am now moving onto more strength training, and intense exercises, like balancing on my bad leg, and once I can do that, balancing on my bad leg while standing on a pillow. Then I move to balancing with eyes closed. Already I can now balance on my bad leg for 15 seconds! I am doing heel raises, and moving onto single heel raises (by raising my heel while on my bad leg - ie. standing only on my bad leg on my tippy-toes.) I am walking pretty much normal speed, but sometimes I am reduced to an old lady limp. I am now being cut down to physio every two weeks! It's so great, I am finally getting somewhere! I have also cut back on my nerve meds by 1/3 and so far so good. I've been on the lower dose for 6 days now, and I seem to be coping with that, which almost makes me want to cry. I was so scared of developing chronic nerve pain (which I still might), but it seems to be lessening now that I am getting even more back to normal. My flexibility has noticably impoved a lot in the last two weeks as well.

I went for a real walk in the sand today, and it was hard, but good! My joint *feels* perfectly healthy and strong - I hope it really is. It just seems my muscles still need some development. I kind of feel like you do when your foot falls asleep, but you need to get up and walk anyhow. I don't mean the tingling, but the careful placement of your foot so you don't hyper-extend anything. It's like you semi-trust your joints and muscles to carry you, even if you can't quite feel what is going on. I can feel everything, but I walk like I can't. I just make a step and hope I keep stable. But I am feeling a lot stronger now, able to lead with my bad leg and trust it to carry my full weight by itself, if only for a few seconds.

So, I am once again hopeful I will heal nicely!

I am only half way into week 27, and once again I am disheartened. I am having such acute pain in my joint, I cannot walk sometimes. But when the times are good, I can walk almost normally. It seems to be either really good, or really bad. I am not liking this more painful experience. I don't feel as sore all over, but I definitely get pain a lot stronger now, but only in one area. I am getting stronger and stronger though, and I keep noticing that. I need to keep positive. I am still having trouble with my sleeping too. I am constantly tired from the anti-depressants, and I just cannot wait to get off them! Anyhow, I have some beautiful photos to post, but my computer STILL isn't back yet from the shop...


troro - the artists behind August 6, 2009 at 7:39 PM  

Say whatever you want, but this is very good news, even if I am late to read this... and no, this is not boring, this is a part of your daily life and your "temporary" small world... No one would do better in such situation !!! go on girl !!!