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Friday, February 20, 2009

Nerves

I've been gone for a while (from bloggerland). Not because I was actually doing anything, but because I have been in so much pain with this nerve thing, I haven't felt like doing anything. BUT, I feel like maybe, just maybe, these new drugs MIGHT be kicking in. I am still in a lot of pain, but it's changing, so I think that might be a good thing. My skin also looks better too. And I slept, for more than 1 hour in a row last night.

This ordeal has been exhausting. Mainly mentally. I feel like I am losing my mind trying to get relief. I would rather go through breaking my ankle and surgery again any day over this nerve pain. Hour for hour, nerve pain has been so much worse.

And, since I am still in bed for most of the day, I have had nothing to do but read. And reading about horrible things like chronic nerve pain, and scaring myself to tears is what I have done. Since nothing seems to be giving me relief, I've been trying to find out what can be done next.

(My little pal, Seti - but I call him SetiMonster - joining me on one of my many naps)

We went to the ER again on Weds, after a referral from my GP, but they turned me away! The on-staff anesthetist only treats admitted patients. So I waited and cried in the ER for 3 hours for some doctor to tell me this. I know, because this problem is MY problem, I find it extremely important, but I do feel like no one is taking me seriously about this pain. Anyhow, I got ANOTHER referral from the ER doctor, and now I wait.

I wait for an appointment with the "Pain Clinic", who, at worst case, is a year behind the people who are asking to be seen. This is because opiate abusers can only see a pain doctor to get thier drugs for their imagined pain. This means people with real pain, maybe arthritis, or what have you, wait a year to be seen by a doctor. It makes me cry. I cannot imagine being in pain for a year, because of drug addicts!

If my pain is not treated soon, there is a possibility it will become chronic. The good thing about my pain, neuropathic pain, is that it IS serious, and I will be seen soon. But "soon" is all I can get out of the receptionist at the pain clinic. My GP recommended, that if no one has seen me by next friday, when I have my appointment with my ortho specialist (from surgery), that I should push to get seen by the pain clinic that day, or push to get re-admitted into the hospital. Fun times. I have about another 8 weeks to get this sorted, before there's a possibility for it to become something permanent.

These last 4 weeks have been the most horrible in a long time. I keep having "light and the end of the tunnel" moments, only to see another tunnel coming up. I will pleased as punch when all this recovery business is done. My REAL injuries are healing up nice and fine. And I am exercising my ankle as much as I can every day. By next friday I will hopefully have good news from the Dr's, and some real physio to begin on.

I'll try to post some fun and interesting things next...too much doom and gloom lately.

(Hey, I'm smiling! What the...? Sometimes I sit by the french doors, but usually
I am too uncomfortable to stay long, and back to bed I go...
)

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